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“Stop believing your limiting beliefs “ – by Shivi Chandna

In the third part of the WiSE UP 2015 series, Nina Cooke, a confidence coach, presented an interesting workshop on discovering how to feel confident and valued to be able to thrive in our everyday lives.

We started by closing our eyes and reflecting on uncomfortable questions, to name but a few; how many times we find ourselves going into timid mode or we believe others are better than us. Looking around, most people openly admitted to feeling like that at some point in their lives.

Being confident doesn’t have to be stressful or scary. All it needs is practice and conviction. And realising the limitations of that lack of confidence is part of the process. If a person feels safer being invisible rather than visible, then it might be costing them.

“We are not disturbed by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens to us” – this quote by Greek philosopher Epictetus still holds meaning. Essentially he was trying to say that the main fear or challenge that people face is not necessarily the physical challenge at hand but rather the mental battle one has to face against oneself before facing the actual challenge.

To start our own journey, Nina insisted there are three steps to feeling confident and valued. First, it is essential to stop mind reading. Most people base there self worth on what others think of them, which puts a negative spin on their thoughts. It is important to remember to not take things personally as it is not about you. Building a strong and unshakeable core will help one stop worrying about what others think about us.

Secondly, one can think about taking back our power by having power within us. If you start seeing people at the same level as you then you don’t feel intimidated. This also helps in not having a sense of false hierarchy.

Finally the secret sauce that Nina wanted us to think about was a concept of limiting beliefs. It is important to realise how your beliefs are affecting a lot of your daily life. Beliefs affect your thoughts and that in turn can affect your emotions and your actions, which ends up affecting the results you may be hoping for. Visualise limiting beliefs in a way by thinking of our world in a glass case covered with post-its. If we identify those limiting beliefs, we can slowly start to remove those post-its and see more outside.

How are these limiting beliefs formed? Guess what? – In our own minds.

No one and no event from our life has caused us to form any of our limiting beliefs. The events have no meaning and when we start to give events a meaning, it bothers us negatively.

The floor was opened to the audience for questions who were trying to understand particular scenarios they have faced in their personal and professional lives. Nina’s enthusiasm and passion for the subject was visible from the start and led to a very useful session. It ended on a positive note with the realisation that being confident can make you feel more authentic and free!

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